When to Resist?

When to -

Resist a habit – When it leaves a bad aftertaste!
Resist a thought – When it spins you in a whirlpool of miseries!
Resist a person – When they stop loving!
Resist a work – When it does not give you joy!
Resist an obligation – When it is an obligation!
Resist a feeling – When that feeling creates hate!
Resist a goal – When that goal is some way not yours!
Resist an activity – When it stops giving you joy!

Never resist a smile, time spent with children and loved ones, and change! Flow with life.

Do I need to?

It has been over 3 months since my last post. I have not been lazy to write – As a matter of fact, I am hardly lazy when it comes to writing. I love writing. But, then, there was a thought – Why write what I write? I don’t write to preach; I am hardly qualified in that department. I write because I love. I don’t write when my mind is full. I write when my mind is empty.

These three months, I have been emptying my mind of the thought that it was getting full. I was letting go of my philosophical ego that was starting to take me over. I was emptying my mind of all the things that I thought I could do and I could not do. I was emptying my compulsive desires to conquer, communicate, establish, achieve, dream, …

It took me three months to understand the difference between compulsive and complimentary. Compulsive goals or desires are what we create because our world becomes blank without them – recognition, money, status and so forth. The problem with compulsive goals are that they neither do any justice to us nor lets us do any justice to them. When I chase a dream that was born out a compulsive desire for recognition, when it eludes me, I am unhappy and when I achieve it, it is unhappy and transforms into something else.

Then there are complimentary goals – the goals that compliment our existence. They are actually not goals that one sets. They evolve out of us ceremoniously dancing to beat of our own heart. There is never a need to prove one’s self. There is never a need to achieve. Achievements and results are byproducts of the spiritual union between what needs to be done and what one is born to do. There are no metrics to judge.

I am back to writing. When I write, my heart pumps and I go in a trance. This needs to be done and maybe this is what I was born to do.

Acting to your reaction

Most of the times, our problems stem from acting upon our reactions to everyday situations. Reacting to an event or situation is common instinct, animals do that always. Aren’t we more capable than animals because of our ability to think? When we react to something, the natural progression is to transform into our reactions. For instance, when we hear that our kids do not listen to us or somebody hurt us, our reaction might be to get angry. Unfortunately, it does not stop there. This unmonitored reaction which may be originating from our free will transforms us into anger. We are anger now. Similarly, we become jealously, love, hate, pleasure, etc. Everything originates from the basic animal instinct of reacting to something and stops by taking us over completely. People seek counseling, therapies, anger management classes, etc for help.

I don’t believe these things to help permanently. They are temporarily solution that will keep appearing until the roots are present in the mind. The way forward in these situations is to not act upon your reactions. Just observe them, but do not act. When you act, do so consciously. Let us consider a simple taken-for-granted activity in our daily lives – breathing. How often in a day do you observe your breath or even realize that you are breathing. Breathing becomes a sub-conscious activity for most of us. Think about it, you will be surprised. Similarly your transformations into your reactions becomes sub-conscious when you don’t observe them. Next time you feel happy, angry, afraid, hungry…, take a moment and observe that thought before naturally acting. That moment you take to delay the natural action of your reaction will reveal to you about yourself more than any therapy or self-help course does.

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Change the world?

This seems to be the most overloaded and overused term in the entrepreneurship circles. I am guilty of it on several occassions. So, the other day, I was thinking about what it really means to change the world and what is the first step to doing it?

What is changing the world? for whom? You want to change the world because you don’t like something. You want a better world, and hence you go about creating it for you. The more I think about this, this term or a notion of changing the world seems to be loaded with selfishness and ignorance. Sorry for being harsh. But, isn’t it true? We say we want to eliminate poverty and help people and therby change the world for good. But, aren’t we doing this because this gives us pleasure and a sense of importance? I am not talking about this being a good or bad thing. I am just trying to underline the root cause of doing something like this. Everything we want to do seems to be driven by a need for pleasure (intellectual or otherwise) and gratification. There is a famous quote by Mahatama Gandhi – “You be the change that you want to see in the world”. Several thousands of interpretations of this quote have been inspirational and motivational. However, I believe there is a much deeper philosophical meaning to this quote. Changing the world first comes from changing ourselves, our mindsets, our attitudes towards others, our perceptions and projections, our knowledge, our desires, etc. It is true that every one of us has infinite potential to do whatever we desire. However, to conquer this so called world, you must first conquer yourself. That is the change you need to be in order to change the world.

These days, this term has become a fashion. There are some selfless individuals who have dedicated their life’s journey to humanity and service. They serve for humanity sake and not for feeling powerful. I am not talking about those people here. Others, my god, it gets really amusing sometimes. Look at a flower or a cloud or the wind. They radiate happiness and life to anyone who takes a moment to observe them. They are changing the world by spreading beauty and joy. They seldom claim that they are changing the world, but they are.  Changing the world is easy and simple and can be done everyday with simple tasks. Our mindset, attitudes and thoughts can stop even a greatest disaster like war. It is just that most of the time, our priorities and understanding of how the world operates is very shallow. It is very important to first observe oneself and change as you desire the outside world to be.

Passion and Faith

I was digging through some of old Seth Godin blog posts…There was an article he wrote about faith and passion in fast company (2007). Awesome read.

An excerpt that probably summarizes the entire article..(that is, if you don’t have time to read the entire article)

Here’s what I learned from one handed molly: Sadie and Greg are a metaphor for every company that says that it wants to be fast. First, the people at the company have to have faith. Faith that their idea is a good one. Faith that their mission is worthy. Faith that people will want what they have to sell, and faith that, in the end, the world will be a better place because they made a unique contribution.

We all know people who work in jobs where they lack faith. It’s just a job. It’s a paycheck. Just a way to pass the time and pay the bills. Without faith, these people will never take a risk. Why should they? What’s the point?

Results Vs. Process

When the focus is on enjoying the process of doing something rather than the actual results itself, the results turn out to be better. I have noticed that in myself and others. From my childhood days and even when I was in my early years of PhD, the focus was on results. I wanted to come first in class or a competition, write a paer about “how this technique kicks ass (result)”, etc when the actual goal should have been to learn something and enjoy it. Result driven approach used to put so much pressure on me. I always was thinking about the final outcome and if it did not come that way, it would make me feel very bad. Along the way, I discovered that the actual happiness is not in the result but in the process. That is the reason, to this day and to the amusement of my wife, I say that I only value my PhD for what it has taught me, not for the degree itself.

What are results? Most part of this approach (excluding the elitist few) is driven towards showing others what we are capable of. In that process, we put unnecessary and unrealistic pressure on ourselves. When this factor goes out of our lives, we start living the life we want to happily and passionately towards what we believe in. This is a small point but makes a huge difference.